Inhale! Now Exhale! Hold It! Now, Off To The Carwash!

Author: Brad  |  Category: Boardman Views, Care Giving, Conservatism, Family, Humor, Politics

Some folks might just get frustrated and move.

I, however, am not one of them.

I have determined to remain perfectly content and subservient even after having read Wednesday’s article by Holley Gilbert of The Oregonian entitled “Washington May Wipe Out Driveway Car Washing.”

After all, Queen Christine and her minions up on Mt. Olympia have proven time and time again that they know what’s best for all mankind.  Certainly, when her inevitable edict comes to my town I will be the first of her loyal subjects to obediently put away my hose, bucket and chamois, get into my car and drive down to the carwash, that is, if she thinks it’s still okay to have a clean car by then.

I wish she could have been my mommy and that the state Department of Ecology’s Bill Moore could have been my daddy.  Just think, all these years I could have still been having my diaper changed for me!  They just probably didn’t know that back when I was very little I learned how to be a big boy and go pee-pee and poo-poo all by myself.

I know that I still need lots of help to think the right…uhhh…left way, but I keep wondering why my big brothers on the  state Pollution Control Hearings Board are bothering to have a “hearing” in October if they’ve already decided “to uphold the state’s ability to exceed federal standards.”  Hmmm.  I guess I’ll have to ask them that when I grow up.

So, I’m very happy that the smart people in Washington are “protecting” me from myself.  But the only thing I still get a little sceeered about is what if someday they accidentally forget to remind me not to pick my nose, or…to…inhale?

I bet I’ll feel better when we have an Obama Nation to watch over us.

You’re in Boardman County!

Make yourself at home and be sure to breathe,

Brad

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27 Responses to “Inhale! Now Exhale! Hold It! Now, Off To The Carwash!”

  1. Judy Says:

    Okay Brad…you have my permission to either pick your nose or breathe, but not BOTH! But it is absolutely essential that you have a clean car AND a clean diaper…remember, cleanliness is next to Godliness!

  2. Brad Says:

    Thank you, Judy.

    It’s okay, though. I don’t think I’m big enough yet to do BOTH at once.

    Meanwhile, I’ll be out in my driveway washing my car. 🙂

    Brads last blog post..Inhale! Now Exhale! Hold It! Now, Off To The Carwash!

  3. Karen Says:

    Great post. I have always loved the way things are decided for me. They know how to make it look like they need our opinion and votes. Ha!

  4. Heather in Beautiful BC Says:

    Heh, heh… ya, thinking for yourself is over-rated!

    Heather in Beautiful BCs last blog post..Thirteen Egmont Attractions

  5. veinglory Says:

    I assume the carwash issue has to do with soap (a biocide) getting into waterways and killing everything?

  6. Aahz Says:

    Three words: Free State Project. See you in NH!

    Aahzs last blog post..ForumFinder Blog Carnival – Premiere Edition

  7. Hellan Says:

    they put hose pipe bans here every summer to conserve water, makes you wonder what they do with it all as it rains all the time!!!!!

  8. Ferox Says:

    So you can’t wash your car in your driveway. Big deal, do it over grass or elsewhere. In Melbourne we can’t wash our cars on driveways, or over contrete ebcause we’re low on water. It’s really something of a waste.

    Feroxs last blog post..Testicle Implant for a Dog

  9. Owen Says:

    Ah .. exhaling is over-rated … *pop*

    Owens last blog post..Even cheaper noise-canceling headphones

  10. cady Says:

    we just recently were allowed to start washing our cars again after being under heavy water bans because of our level 4 extreme drought. with the lack of rain in sept., i expect the bans to be back soon.

    cadys last blog post..And They’re Off . . . Again

  11. Stomphoof Says:

    Water bans are always annoying, but hey, the law is the law. Doesn’t mean we gotta be happy about it.

  12. admin Says:

    @Karen, thanks for stopping by. Yes, they DO need our votes. They simply ACT as though they don’t realize that.

    @Heather, my neighbor to the north. Thinking for myself may be over-rated, but it’s still one of my guilty pleasures!

    @veinglory, are you on the Washington State Pollution CONTROL Hearings Board?

    @Aahz, although your link didn’t seem to work, I’ve heard some about the Free State Project. The only problem is that I refuse to move in order to be free. I’d rather stay right here and be the biggest problem possible for those who feel they need to inhale and exhale for me.

    @Hellan, anytime I hear them say “ban” I tend to go do whatever the banned planet-destroying activity is. Hang on. I’ve gotta go start my lawnmower.

    @Ferox, Oh, but I CAN wash my car in my driveway. See? I’m DOING it. And look, I’m stomping down the biggest carbon footprint I can without straining myself.

    @Owen, yes, exhaling is over-rated until right before you want to inhale again. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.

  13. mistipurple Says:

    Let the rain do the job. 😛

    mistipurples last blog post..Potency of Words

  14. Christina thecoffeelady Says:

    LMAO…. wish I had a solution. I don’t have a driveway, just a dirt path… mmmm.

    Christina thecoffeeladys last blog post..LOT O’ LOVE

  15. windyridge Says:

    Well I’m safe. I wash my car on the front lawn!

  16. gina Says:

    Not all laws are meant to be liked, but sometimes they are needed.

    ginas last blog post..Celebrities Want The Vote

  17. Christine Says:

    Seriously? People have been washing their cars in their driveways for what – a hundred or so years now? I think we’re already screwed, lol …

    Christines last blog post..As Seen On Craigslist …

  18. Lisa Says:

    Hey, be happy that you have a driveway! LOL We don’t even have that option at my house.

    Lisas last blog post..Dirty Sexy Money Premiere Rocked!

  19. Jules Says:

    I live in the desert, we’ve never been able to “legally” wash our cars in the driveway.

    Juless last blog post..I Love Him But I Want To Choke Him

  20. TheSnackHound Says:

    If you live in some gated communities around here, not only can you not wash your car in your driveway, but you can’t have your car in your driveway. The exception is those several moments when the tires are in motion, going up the driveway to get into the garage. After that, if your garage is left aimlessly open, the neighborhood busybody will slap a copy of the deed restrictions on your forehead.

  21. daria369 Says:

    Goodness, we have no restrictions like that – now I’m not sure if we’re in the same country… 😉

  22. Mark Says:

    Sounds like you have got the Nanny State over there as well as here in the UK!

    Marks last blog post..Back from Crete

  23. Bree Says:

    I can drive my car to the lake across the road, and wash it…lol

    Brees last blog post..Re: Friday Comment Exchange (10-3)

  24. Connie Says:

    Who know’s what will be next? No driving in your driveway?

    Connies last blog post..Another Busy Day

  25. Jason Brady Says:

    The good news is that you can buy cleaners that are biodegradable and don’t pollute. Pollution is the basis of the proposed ban mentioned in the article, not our freedom to wash our vehicles. The product I market has been earth-friendly for 50 years, so there is no excuse for lack of a market-based solution. We have a responsibility to be good stewards of the environment. Let’s do the right thing AND keep our vehicles sparkling clean!

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  27. Microsoft Certifications Says:

    Rocky roads make good drivers and your driveway helped you with that, isn’t it cool the other side.

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