I saw this recently and couldn’t resist re-posting it here. I had to sanitize it a bit, but I think it’s just as funny without the foul language. Here goes.
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas to inquire of an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
“Okay,” the rancher said compliantly, but be sure not to go in that field over there,” pointing off to the right.
The DEA officer verbally exploded: “Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
“See this freeekin’ badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want. On any land! No questions asked! No answers given! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?!“
The rancher nodded politely, apologized and went back about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher smiled when he suddenly heard loud screams coming from the direction of the forbidden field. He looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life – the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull bringin’ up the rear.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed like he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety.
Seeing that the now somewhat humbler officer was clearly terrified and fixin’ to lose the race, the rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs:
“Your baaaaadge, man!! Show him your freeeeekin’ baaaadge!!“
This is one I wish I’d written. To whoever did, thanks for the good story. Feel free to claim it in my Comment section and I’ll be happy to give proper attribution.
You’re in Boardman Country!
Make yourself at home,